ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
