she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
