saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Are we still banned from the library?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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