But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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