physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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