would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
