I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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