Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize