what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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