i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
