Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dicks are not precious.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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