Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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