had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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