dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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