Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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