Are we in a gay sports bar?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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