You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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