u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
