Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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