I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize