i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
