i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
