Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
