Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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