the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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