I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
