pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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