im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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