can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
