Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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