i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
