I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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