my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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