Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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