the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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