So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I deserve this hangover.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
