I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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