Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
