How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize