dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
