the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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