i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
