you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
