it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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