I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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