I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
