My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think my moral compass just broke
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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