Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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