so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
