I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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