Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
