My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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