Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dicks are not precious.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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