He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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