I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize