I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
