Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
