i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
