are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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